Moved

The new blog!

Yippee!

No sleep 'till Brooklyn

Laura is the boss of the internet. She is helping me with waitingforwonderful, and with any luck it should be up and running by the weekend. I think I'll be moving my blog there. (Dudes. I know, okay? I'm the same way with phone numbers -- I think I've had 10 in the last two years.) I'll definitely be posting pictures, as my nephew is freaking in love with the camera, and I love him more than anything else on the planet. I make him laugh more than anyone in the world, and he is by far my favorite person ever to hang out with. 13-1/2 months is apparently a really cool age to be, as you can make your Aunt Kiki do whatever you want and have her get really stressed and irritated with you, but then you can laugh and smile at her with your five-tooth smile and she'll crack up at what a ham you are.

The most recent pictures of my nephew include him chewing on a CD (my Aware Records compilation! I thought it was something sucky!), and carrying around a red plastic toolbox. If you think your family is cuter than my nephew, you are wrong, and I will make sure you understand that.

Things around 628 (holla!) are about the same. My puppy goes to doggy daycare three times a week, which is KIND of helping with her chewing, and not so much helping with how much she pees all over the place. She had a mani and a pedi and got her hair did yesterday, though, so she's a happy little princess camper right now. I haven't slept in three days. It's kind of strange being up all night with the insomnia after I take my sleeping pill. It's like I'm zoned out and want to sleep, but I lay there and can't sleep. So I read, or write, or watch TV, all to no avail. I think today I'm just too tired to care about what crap I look and/or feel like.

Word to the Iraqi soccer team. I hope they win gold.

Miss

I miss my fucking friends. And not one of them cares.

[edit: I fucking miss my friends.]

DBFF

Dear Danny:

Today I found the card you sent me one year + five days ago. I read it and remembered being completely crushing on you. And maybe a smidge in the love.

I am so thankful for you, and for the fact that you make me work my ass off to be your friend. Working for your friendship means I never, ever take you for granted.

I am thankful that you are honest with me, and that you get honestly pissed off if I cross a line with you. I know better now than to talk crap about your girlfriend or your car or your mom's vagina. (Although in my defense on that last one, I did say it was a high performance machine.) I love that you are the hardest person to get to know ever. And I love that you're totally the coolest about writing me drunk letters.

I love you so much, my friend.
Sar

Helps

I am having some SERIOUS ISSUES with setting up waitingforwonderful. Mostly I just want to use it as a photoblog. Can anyone help?

Pfffft.

Dear country radio:

Los Lonely Boys' "Heaven" is not meant for you to play!

Love,
Sara

PS: Seriously.

One

One of the few things that I still do that I used to do with Matt is watch Arsenal games and follow Arsenal news. I don't claim to know as much as he does, because even now I hardly ever remember to catch anything on Fox Sports World. But I know that I hate ManU, and that Henry is one of my favorite athletes of all time.

I see Gunner fans all the time now. I used to SWEAR that Matt was the only person in Colorado who would wear Arsenal jerseys. Everyone laughed because probably 90% of the time dude was wearing something Arsenal related. But I see Arsenal fans now and almost always say "DUDE! GO GUNNERS!" And they get very excited.

Sometimes I allow myself good memories.

Dear X - August 2004 (01) - Sincerely

[This is a variation on the Dear X idea. This month I will be writing a letter from someone to me.]

Dear Sara:

I've known you all your life. You have always been my sister, and my father's daughter. Although you think I am better than you are, I consider you wonderful. I sing your praises and love you through everything.

I hear you praying to me every day and every night. I see you raise your hands up in the car and belt out praise & worship songs to me and our Father. I know you are trying to be like me, and everyday I think you're becoming a bit closer to the person you want to be.

I believe in you. I know you are not sinless or perfect, and I don't expect you to be. You are human. You are forgiven.

I died on the cross for you. I took all of your sins and sickness and anger and temper with me. I rebuked the asthma in your lungs, and the depression in your brain long before you were born. You don't have to be a slave to them. I bore your wounds so you wouldn't have to. I know you imagine everyday what it will be like to meet me. It will be like it always has been for siblings -- wonderful. Thank you for preparing to meet me.

Continue to spread the word. Be a crusader for what you believe in; your reward will be great. Teach love and patience and respect. I am with you always.

I love you.

-X

PS: Your Nana knows you still sense her sometimes. She loves you.

Found

I've spent approximately 48 hours looking at Found. And it reminded me of the most scarring moment of my childhood. I'm pretty sure I am not ready to talk about it as it involves A) My mom, and B) Oral sex.